You might be an adjunct if…
In case you are uncertain, you might be an adjunct if:
You are nearly fifty but living like a millennial.
You get angry when people you went to high school with complain about millennials.
You are a host on Airbnb.
You buy your clothing by the pound from bins.
Your car is older than your students.
You know what iBotta is.
You have go-to meals that are under $1.
You fly in and out on the same day when you are presenting at a conference.
You are vague about your employment status on dating apps so you can “date up.”
You are on dating apps because you got a divorce because of job insecurity.
You have very strong opinions about the brand of your writing instruments.
You have multiple dry erase markers in your briefcase.
You have published in medical journals but can’t afford to go to the doctor.
You have more teaching experience than your departmental chair.
You have been on governmental assistance while interviewing for a job at NASA, NSF, or the Smithsonian.
You can no longer afford to move for a tenure-track job even if you wanted to.
You moved more times from 2001 through 2011 than Osama bin Laden’s family did.
Your eBay cha-ching alert has gone off during the middle of a lecture in your intro class. Multiple times.
You have replaced your advisor with people on YouTube and Twitter.
Your friends have suggested you try teaching in other fields, K-12 or even become a substitute teacher.
You get excited when the number of classes you are teaching increases.
You warn undergraduates about grad school and grad students about the job market.
You kick yourself for all of the times you bought food or coffee on campus in grad school.
You get even more disheartened when you hear about tenured professors who have sexually harassed or abused students.
You have thousands of dollars worth of books that you have accumulated over your career but can’t sell them because you fear you will lose cred as a professional.
You are afraid of taking certain jobs because you don’t want your students or colleagues to see you working at the places where they shop or eat. You know. Cred.
You have genuinely considered going to a community college to get another degree so you can be a medical technician. But don’t. Because… cred.
You know deep down that you no longer have cred.
You wonder if maybe you just really liked being in college and it got out of hand.
You have a love/hate relationship with your discipline.
You cannot get over the nagging “what if” feeling about staying on the market for another year.
You realize that sometimes you don’t get closure.
You get multiple W2s.
You have a Ph.D.